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Archive for April, 2010

model shauna eve struts her badass self! http://www.vivvos.com

Let me take you back…. yesterday, Tuesday, 4:53pm.  The moment of confusion, then realization, and finally of morbid awareness.   I went back in time, play by play and moment by moment dissecting if anyone had noticed, and if they had, WHY didn’t they say anything?  And then again, what can you say to a girl with a hole in her lululemon pants… right in the middle of her bum?!

I think looking back, I might have noticed that there was a little more of a draft while performing my perfectly prescribed deep squats in a 3 way mirror, or that I just happened to catch the eye of a couple extra guys as I lay flat on my back, legs in the air doing sideways leg lowers.  Or perhaps during my physio appointment, where Dr. Harry Toor (envision physiotherapy) expertly adjusted my T11 and T12 vertebrae, and halfway through randomly pulled the bottom of my shirt down as far as it could reach…  YES, there were, in fact, signs and like it or not my booty made an appearance.  All.  Day.  Long.

The funniest part about the whole thing, however, was that rather than being super concerned about baring my skin, it occurred to me that I had just shown the world a side of me saved for the select few granted access to my collection of underwear and lingerie…  I had displayed a private piece of myself and though at the time it seemed ridiculous, my grandmother’s words suddenly made sense “always wear great underwear- you never know when you’ll die and you don’t want to be buried mismatched!”

My underwear collection has morphed and changed over the years.  It started at 10 years old with Costco and comfort.  Yes, I thought full-bummed undies were the most comfortable and I had no concern for the lines under my jeans or the peekaboo granny panties that would creep up when I bent over.  As I grew up and started playing volleyball, it was clear.  Full bummed undies were NOT flattering under a pair of spandex and as my volleyball career began to mould my fashion sense, intro the thong tha thong thong thong.  Colour, style and brand were not as important as price and convenience.  I would wear whatever I got – usually in bundles in my stocking at Christmas.  I remember the dreadful Christmas morning when my mom decided to go with a “sexier” look.  I was 17 and the look on my dad’s face said it all.  In similar fashion to a company “Going Public” my underwear selection had officially “Gone Private” in the Allinger household.

For the next 10 years I think my sister wardrobed my underwear drawer.  She had great style, and a passion for the right thong or booty short.  She understood that there was an element of self expression in selecting what to wear for the day – that maybe only you knew about, but that would change the way you would strut down the street, with your little black lacy “secret”.  And I knew one thing, following a 2002 volleyball game mishap  – not only is it important which underwear we choose, but it is SUPER important to choose to wear underwear.  period. No matter how you justify it 🙂

What we put on reveals our secret badass self – the self that only our best friends, lovers, and our journal know about.  The self that comes out after a bottle of wine, and the one that throws caution to the wind on vacation in Mexico.  When we get to choose our underwear, it takes away the clothes we have to wear for work and the latest trends.  If we get to see a persons underwear, we know who she truly is…

The Thong – there are so many thong styles that it really depends.  This woman cares how her clothes look, and is definitely a vixen in the bedroom.  If she wears the same one in different colours, she is dependable, reliable, and probably knows her body well.  She knows what works and she goes with it. If she changes it up, perhaps she’s unsure of what she is, or maybe she just loves  the variety.  Without a doubt, this woman will keep you guessing.

Then there is the string thong.  A step above nothing, goes under anything.  This woman has a really wild side and contains it for the sake of adhering to a couple of societal regulations – I mean, Britney got slammed for displaying her poon in public so no need to repeat that mistake!

Lacy, girly, pink and pretty is the Charlotte (sex and the city) of thongs.  At the end of the day, she’s pretty vanilla but definitely has a little spice.  And if a woman is tough on the outside and sports a feminine lacy pair, she wants to be recognized as having a soft sultry side – this woman could be interesting… as interesting as the girl who wears the floral summer dress and sports a pair of red satin ones.

The Full-Bum: I have a theory about this one…  A woman that wears grannie undies cares deeply about comfort.  She is conservative, or maybe she just missed the thong revolution and can’t possibly ever imagine a permanent wedgie (for the record, it doesn’t feel like that!).  She usually has pretty strong views about the discomfort of thongs 🙂  Now, everything I have said so far is null and void if  1. The underwear are see-through and 2.  They are brazilian boyshorts (see next category)

The Boyshort: These are the Vera Wang’s of underwear.  Put a pair on, your butt looks higher, rounder.  They are chic and urban with the comfort of the full bum undies.  The woman that wears these is all about style, all about trends, and depending on the colour and style she chooses can range from a badass to sporty chic to soft and feminine.  She also knows how to keep something to the imagination and is a bit of a tease. She’s hot, and she knows it.

Which brings me to yesterday.  You might be wondering what I had on?  What my underwear said about me.  Well, mine happened to have a bigger story than just being a pair of underwear, as most women’s underwear would.  I chose the Vivva Diva Thong (www.facebook.com/vivvos).   I didn’t want lines so I chose style; I needed to move, so I chose comfort; and I wanted my day to be successful so I chose colours that were bold and powerful.  And these underwear are special to me.  They are built by a woman who believes in empowering others, in fulfilling dreams, and in community.  She believes in me, and so in some strange way, when I put these underwear on, I believe more in myself.  AND, if I were to die today, and be buried in my underwear, I’d be proud of what I had on because it represents who I am today.  And maybe tomorrow a sexy lacy black pair would do that but I doubt it – I mean, how would I explain that one while at the gym doing deadlifts?  😉

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You know how in your business or in whatever  passion you have that there is one person who stands out to you?  Someone you admire and who you call a mentor, an inspiration.  A person that you see excellence in and that in watching them perform, you catch a glimpse of your own possibility.  Well, for me that was Tiger Woods. 

He is a Competitor. He is a Champion.  He is a Cheater?

 I believe in the phrase “that which you do one thing, you do everything”.  As in if I lie about how tall I am in an online dating profile, I probably lie about something more significant in my life also.

And I think that’s why everyone was so shocked about Tiger.  Because he excelled in golf, we had him on a pedestal and we believed that his value system and ethics were at a celestial level.  For me, he was pretty close to perfect.

So the truth has come out and it’s pretty ugly.  And people have tried to figure it out – does he feel invincible, entitled… is he pathological, does he have an addiction?  Tiger has ceased to be human and has instead become a problem to solve, and a puzzle to figure out. And most of all – Tiger has become dirt.  In the media he is a joke and it has become a public pasttime to ridicule and judge him.

And that’s what this blog is about.  It’s not about whether what he did was right or wrong.  I think that’s clear based on the vows he took.  It’s not about what his publicist should or shouldn’t have had him do, it’s not about whether Elin should take him back or what his dad would say.  It’s about us.

I think that the true nature of people comes out during hardship.  It’s why it is important to date somebody for long enough to go through something emotional and difficult with them- you truly find out who a person is when things go sour and when there is struggle.  Do they get depressed, angry, judgmental, withdrawn?  Or do they find a way to make it better, to grow and to persevere.  Are they on your team when you are forced to fold, or only when you are dealt a royal flush? Can they see your character through your circumstances? And more importantly, can they help you revive your spirit when the chips fall?

Taking this back to Tiger, I was watching an interview with him while I was working out a couple of days ago.  There was no sound, and I think that because of that I was so much more attuned to his message.  It was loud and clear. 

I am broken.

The ever so present and untangible power that Tiger was known for is gone.  He spirit silenced.  And I’m not saying that he doesn’t have to go through some things to figure out how to move forward.  There’s no doubt that remorse and retribution may be a part of it, but how does OUR accusation, judgment and punishment lead to the healing of both Tiger and his family?  And what did we do in our lives to deem ourselves so perfect and righteous?

I’ve rarely seen a human being step up to their potential in the face of negativity and I doubt this is any different.  It’s not to say that we need to support an action that is hurtful, such as the many times Tiger cheated on his wife, but it’s definitely not our place to step in.  Someone recently argued that since Tiger used the media to his advantage for years, this is all justified that he would get the flip side if he F-ed up.  And I see their point if we subsribe to the notion of “and eye for an eye”, but I think it’s way more powerful to subscribe to the notion of humanity.

And it’s hard, especially when we are angry, and feel super justified about it.  I mean, say it was my husband… how would I feel then? The wisest people in the world manage to do one thing, no matter what their circumstances.  They always remain true to who they are regardless of what happens to them or how they feel.  Who they are is constant, and within their control.  How they feel, and what people do to them is out of their hands.

So the question is, who are we?  Right now, this situation has shown me that we are judgment, gossip, righteousness and condemnation.  You can’t look at the situation in a way that says “because you did this, I have a right to do that”.  Our reaction and the way we treat another human being is our choice and our responsibility… 

And what would we do if who we are is love, inspiration and community.  Would our actions change?  Would we be so justified in treating Tiger in the way we have been treating him if we were more committed to who we truly are than we are to how right we are?

Just saying…  And I know that a part of me feels for Tiger because I too have made mistakes.  I’ve hurt people I love, I’ve lied, I’ve cheated…. and we all have at some point.  Did he lie and cheat?  Yes.  Did he get caught.  Double yes.  Did he learn his lesson?  If you care about the answer to this, my point has been missed…  It’s not up to us to decide what he needs to learn and how he needs to learn it.  But it is up to us to be there, cheering him on when he finds his way once again…

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Okay, so I rarely write 2 blogs in a weekend… or even in a week but I feel inspired 🙂  Maybe it’s the Easter chocolate I’m not supposed to be eating!

I was talking to a good friend on mine and he was telling me all about his latest girl.  They dated under the pretense that it was casual, that they were just having fun and that they would date other people, and a few months later, she changed her tune… she wanted something more and had fallen in love with him.  His frustration?  This has happened before- many times before. So I got to thinking about some of my recent situations…

I think I am a 21st century woman – not only because I am clearly living in this era, but I think that I represent how far women have come.  I am lucky enough to be able to play a sport for a living, to do what I dream, to be 30 years old and not pressured to be married or have kids (well, except for the odd comment from my grandma!).  I can be in a relationship, or casually date without judgement.  I can go out without any makeup on, never own a dress, and learn to fix my own tire.  And the next day I can wear a lacy red push up bra and cry during a cheesy romantic comedy.  To me, that is what the women’s movement is all about – choice and freedom to be.

With dating, if feels to me like we are now expected to take a big part of us – our femininity and our emotional needs and put it to the side . So that no matter what we want deep down we are just as okay with a hook up as we are with a relationship.  And we are okay with however a guy chooses to pursue us – text, emails every 2 weeks… whatever.  And I want to know, since when did our choice, freedom and power come from just being okay with whatever we  get?  Why, as my brother so eloquently puts it, can’t we just let a guy “court” us?  It’s a part of the process that we are ignoring and if we were getting results, then I’d say stick to what is working, but I don’t think we are…

A lot has changed with dating, especially in the last 5 years – some that I’ve noticed are:

1.  Women no longer get asked out-  they get texted, IM’d, facebook messaged, pof/lavalife emailed.

2.  There is no date planning.  It’s last minute, it’s super casual and the invite often comes late at night.  I swear its a booty call but I don’t know how that works… is there a certain time that signals a booty call like my dad’s 10:00 no phone call rule?

3.  Dates are usually preceded with a bunch of googling.  And if we don’t find them via google, they are not to be trusted 😉

4.  We no longer date people that we know, as there are so many more options out there, so we are out with people who we have no information or history about.  Like, for example, the guy I dated from San Diego who had two ex wives by age 27 and slept with two guns under his pillow- solid…

5.  The bill is split, the phone calls are split, the first move is split.  And I am constantly confused… about what to do.  All the time.

6. Friends with benefits has become the starting point to a relationship.

Here’s the thing…  Regardless of the type of relationship people are looking for, I truly believe that there is a natural energy exchange between men and women that isn’t being met .  It’s the instinctual hunt.  It’s how we are wired.  This is not to say that women aren’t equal, just because we are being pursued.  In fact, to put so much emphasis on the supposed lack of power that  happens when somebody opens a door or foots a bill  is such a misinterpretation of what power and freedom are.  My sister, who is such an amazing and strong person, has debated this point with me by saying that she can open her own door – and she can!  We all can!  But I can also paint my own nails and this fact doesn’t stop me from getting a manicure.    The thing is that she is great at painting nails and I appreciate and respect that.  And she respects that I am willing to invest in having polished nails. I know that this metaphor is obviously pushing it a bit, but by using the same logic for dating, then both parties are getting their needs met right?

And you know, it’s not to say that we will never pay for a date, or give our guy a gift or be the outer spoon once in awhile 😉 (well,  maybe not that!) , but to not allow a person to give to us  seems kind of like we are taking one of our choices away… and isn’t that the opposite of womens liberation?

And maybe I’m too far the other way, I’ll admit that, but I think that if a guy wants my attention and wants to be with me, it will be obvious.  He’ll call, he’ll plan dates, he’ll invest in a date with his time, his attention, his money, his blackberry away in his pocket – At the end of the day, I want my relationship to be like that and I don’t trust that if it doesn’t start that way it will end up that way.

I keep trying to convince all of my friends to do this, but they are resistant.  I’m not sure why but I kind of think it’s because women think that if they have these expectations and “rules” then guys won’t be interested and they’ll end up alone.  Yes, some guys will peace out.  Actually, I think most will. But I think they are the same guys that will peace out a month later, after you are emotionally and physically involved and man, is it harder at that point!    Why not just let them weed themselves out at the beginning when it doesn’t matter to you?

And guys, correct me if I’m wrong – won’t you do all of these things for a girl that you are crazy about?  And the others- not so much, right?   It’s obvious when we look at the information – how a person communicates with you, how often, what they say they want, what they ask from you.  All the information is there, and we just need to listen, and not to waste our time hoping that it turns into something different than what it started as.  It’s hard to change expectations mid-path, which is what so many girls do to guys.  They say they are fine with casual, fine with infrequent, and then what happens 3 months down the road?  I think we all know!

Anyways, I digress 🙂  Thanks for reading – and please comment.  I’m curious about how everyone else feels- pretty sure my friends have some insightful ideas and thoughts about my perspective 😉

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Paleo-Pup has figured it out!

Meet Izzy, aka Paleo-Pup… this is my coach, Brian MacKenzie’s pitbull.  She’s the sweetest, most gorgeous, and sickly athletic dog I know… I fell in love with her at first sight, and it goes without saying that we’ll be buddies for life.  I’m kind of hoping to get one of my own soon but until then, I get to puppysit!  I chose this picture cause I totally identify with her being injured- the difference is that I’m still nursing mine 1 year later and she was out of the cast and running in 2 months!

So why do we call her paleo-pup?   Well, her diet is clean.. I mean, super clean.  She eats only raw food, and it’s paleo style which means, in laymans terms, she eats like a caveman (or woman 😉 )  Now, I’m not going to get into the price and the inconvenience of feeding her, BUT today when I was sitting down with a nutritionist, it occurred to me two things:

1.  I need an intervention because I’ve been justifying cinnamon toast crunch as a “healthy grain” and

2.  I feed my dog, my plants and my lawn more purposefully than I do myself

This is coming from a girl who, without a doubt, has tried it all.  I’ve been a vegetarian… had to get woken up by my coach before every practice because I didn’t realize that being vegetarian meant more than eating vegetables!  I’ve done the Zone, measuring and weighing every ounce I put into my body, and filling my parents fridge with countless containers of  “1 1/2 portions of lettuce”, which is about 8 cups!!.  I’ve also done Paleo, where my bank account took a beating and I gained  20 lbs of muscle and lost 4% bodyfat in 6 weeks.  And then I sunk in the sand…  I’ve tried supplements, vitamins, protein shakes, chia seeds… you name it, I could tell you about it and exactly what kind of result you can expect if you do it.

And where does that leave me?  With a whole lot of information, and no plan.  So today I met with Orsha Magyar, who is a holistic nutritionist  (just because I know a bunch of people are going to ask… if you want to get ahold of her, phone 604-737-0799).   She was so practical, so knowledgable and so giving of her time – and gave me REAL advice about how to recover from this injury (anti-inflammatory foods), how to eat to perform both physically and mentally, and how to get the most from supplements.

So why am I blogging about this? Well, I started to think about how important our health is, and what awareness we have about what we put into our mouths.  Do we actually know what we are doing to ourselves?

For me, I have trouble prioritizing something that I can’t see.  Like, okay, if I want to lose weight, then I know I need to eat less calories, right?  So I know that I need to choose certain foods to accomplish that.  But what about some of the effects of eating that we don’t see… and that maybe we attribute to something else.  Is it simply coincidental that I was diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago when I had cut carbohydrates out of my diet?  I had never had problems focussing, and all of a sudden I can’t keep my head in the game.  Or what about when we get sick?  Is it fair to assume that what we fuel ourselves with impacts our immune system, our ability to fight off sickness and disease?  So can it really be healthy to drink Diet Coke, even though it’s calorie free?

And does it make any sense at all that we know more about what is in our dogs food, or what type of fertilizer we need to use to grow better grass, than we do about what we have for lunch?  Now I don’t mean to have an intervention with everybody about what they eat because god knows I love a good piece of chocolate, but do you think, just possibly that if we saw our own body as a  powerful machine that we have control over, possible of anything from running a marathon, to having amazing healthy children, to fighting cancer, to aging beautifully and gracefully, to winning a gold medal in 2012, that we would change what we do?  I think that if we looked at ourselves this way, we only gave it the absolute BEST because we would love and appreciate it.

And it is impossible to stop at just our bodies if our mind shifts in this way.  Wouldn’t we then only expect the best in other facets of our lives?  Our dating lives, our marriage, our education, our jobs…  Because that which we do one thing, we do everything.  If we cut a corner in our job, what is the chance that we don’t justify cutting a corner with our relationship with our family?  When I lie to myself about what I ate in a day, don’t you think it’s likely that I’ve lacked integrity in another area of my life?  If I continuously honour everything over my own health (like deadlines, kids, job, drinking), then who and what will I attract into my life?

Our health is so vital to accomplishing anything in life.  We are more confident, strong, focussed, and energetic.  And I challenge anyone to tell me one thing that we do in our lives where that wouldn’t be a benefit.  And if that is the case, then why are so many people ignoring this part of their lives?   With this injury, for me, has come a lot of clarity, including the importance of rest and recovery (nutrition is a big part of this!).  Having goals and a plan for this aspect of our lives is as important as making a budget or investing money wisely.  And then honour it; honour yourself because without your health, your mental clarity, your fitness, you truly can’t enjoy the rest of your life! Most people can attest to the fact that our bodies will stop us and make us take notice one way or the other…

Let’s take a little lesson from Paleo-Pup.   She eats 4 times a day, exercises daily, naps, and cuddles often!  And she’s awfully happy 🙂 –  doesn’t everyone want to be  HAPPY?!

“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there”

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