Archive for September, 2010

I’ve been writing this blog for about ten months now, and I don’t think I’ve ever gone through it.  For some reason, after I write I never want to re-read it for fear that I will wish I had written it differently or perhaps not at all!

And I was right.

Well, partially right.  It’s funny – as I sifted through my many thoughts and expressions I could see so clearly where I was and how far I have come.  I could see what my focus was, where my energy lay, and to be honest, I could see where I wrote from my heart and where I wrote from my head.

I started this blog in order to explore being fully self expressed and to find an outlet for what I felt in my heart.  I had played every sport under the sun, and there was this creative piece of me that I felt was hibernating.  And I wasn’t sure how to get it out, so I just went for it, and this is the product.  About 150 people a day read about my decisions, opinions and advice -sought out or not – and as tonight I breezed through 20 or so of my blogs, I just realized for me what the impact of that is.

I have a belief… maybe even call it a stand, that people are amazing.  I think that human beings can be and achieve things that are so extraordinary that we haven’t even touched the possibilities that lie within us.  And this is where I am not aligned with some of my writing – I look back on some of the things I wrote and I don’t see that belief  entwined in the words.  I see limits and rules and small perspectives that I have based some of my writing on and truth be told, I think that it came from a place of confusion on my end.  This year has been filled with so much self discovery, change, and growth and with this my integrity at times was shaken and I want to restore that in all of my future writings.

I am committed to the beauty and strength that everyone has (even the “bad” dates I used to mention!) and I am really excited for this to be a place for transformative  conversations… still wrapped in humour and fun!

Thanks for reading and I am going to leave all of my posts up – even the ones I am so-so about, because the journey really is the destination and regardless of who I am now, the pathway was perfect.


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Okay, so I was hanging out with a few friends this past weekend in Whistler, and I realized something….we all know “The Best” ________________ (fill in the blank).

So, rather than going out trying out a million different products, hair stylists, waxers, dating sites, hole in the wall mexican restaurants and makeup, I was thinking we would all give our list of “Best Of’s”! So, feel free to copy and paste my categories, OR, if you have a category of your own, please share share share (this is only as good as YOUR advice!) and make a difference for everyone who reads this – let’s spread all the BESTS in our lives 🙂

Here is mine:

Best Makeup trick: Mistura.com. For some reason, this makeup takes away the residuals of a hard night out, and makes you glow without sparkle or shine. Truly one of the greatest makeup tricks I’ve seen and worth every penny

Best Hair Product: I’ve tried it all but Moroccan Oil wins. Smooths hair without weighing it down or making it greasy.

Best Hair Trick: I’m a fan of anything brazilian…  But the brazilian blowout is a miracle. Check it out and if you have any inkling to try it, go for it! Kind of pricey, but for me well worth the hours I save doing my hair

Best Wax: Get your wax at Sugarbox – Might be that they make it feel totally cool to be in pain for 20 mins!

Best way to burn 500 calories: Ummm… other than the obvious 😉 Okay, crossfit. Hands-down greatest workout ever and never lasts more than an hour.  Do it at a crossfit gym or they post free workouts online at http://www.crossfit.com or http://www.crossfit.ca

Best Place to Grab Some Grub: I love The Eatery Sushi Bar.  Cool vibe, great people and an owner that makes you feel like you are hanging out at a wicked dinner party at his place.

Best TV show no-one else seems to watch: For sure this MTV show called “If you really knew me”.  Makes me cry everytime – just so cool how looking at life with a different perspective can change the world… check it out!

Best Nutritional Tip: Coconut oil. Miracle food!  Google it and you’ll find out why 🙂

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Okay, so I’m officially declaring that this was a workout… I swear!

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So I was hanging out with my friend Jill, and her boyfriend Ronny.  Basically 3rd wheel all day long, and while I’m not sure how they felt about it, I’m getting rather comfortable and content in my role as the tag along friend.  I mean, they plan the greatest dates together – sightseeing, hiking, great dinners out, and even a little home improvement shopping (which I always seem to be too “busy” for), and I really just get to reap the benefits of two people trying to woo each other… without any of the emotional involvement or worries about where things are going 😉   Similar to my friend’s new company, The Social Order (thesocialorder.ca), they have kind of become a social event planning service for me!

But yesterday I literally spent the day with them from 10am-2pm and as we made our way around the seawall, made dinner and sat around talking about all of life’s little mysteries, one very important topic came up, which neither of them had ever talked to each other about….

What is your number?

Inappropriate, maybe in retrospect!  But at 1am it seemed like the natural progression for our cute little date… and while I’m not going to share those numbers or stories here, another more interesting question came up…

How many people have you kissed?

And, if Jill is right that this number doesn’t matter, is a kiss really just a kiss?

Okay, I for one am going to admit something.  I find out everything I need to know about a guy when we kiss- is there chemistry, are we compatible, is there a connection, and does he keep his eyes opened or closed (my great-grandmother once warned me that if he keeps his eyes open, he can’t be trusted.  For some reason this stuck…!).  So, in my 15 years of kissing, here are a few observations I’ve made:

  • I know that if he immediately sticks his tongue in my mouth, he’s pushy and never dated a woman that spoke up….
  • If he kisses you for the first time and at the same time tries to feel you up, he doesn’t have relationship potential for you!
  • If he never uses his tongue, I think he’s afraid of intimacy. I mean, come on – how can you ever get totally lost in another person which your mouth closed?
  • If he gets all soft and passive, he thinks the work is up to you… AND this will come back to haunt you!
  • If he asks you if he can kiss you, you are probably out of his league
  • If he gazes at you before/after the kiss, he is hooked.  You never know how a person feels about you during the kiss -it’s what they do right before or after that gives you the cue about where they stand

So while Jill’s point of view is that a kiss is just a kiss, my point of view is that a kiss is never just a kiss.

The reason I love kissing is because it’s really intimate but PG.  It’s the carefree and fun way to connect with someone and experience them in a totally new way.  To me, there is nothing hotter than kissing in the rain, there is nothing more comforting than the first time he kisses you when you are sick in bed, looking like death.  And there is nothing more sexy than that moment, right before your first kiss when time stops, and you can literally hear the beat of your heart and feel the heat of his breath.

AND, there’s nothing worse than a bad kiss, especially if it happens with a guy you think is great.  Because if that compatibility isn’t there, the chemistry will likely die.  So, the question of the importance of a kiss becomes really obvious to me – it can make you or break you.  And, it is a totally learned skill, so you can get better and better at it.  Which is why practicing is really important – ha!  Okay, but seriously… what makes a good kiss?  Is there a kissing standard or template to ensure success?  For me and from my experience, the answer is YES and so here it is – the long awaited and much anticipated (or not 😉 )….

LA’s First Kiss Manifesto

  1. All kisses must start with a moment – a slight hesitation… just enough that you notice you’ve held your breath just a little
  2. Once you decide to do it, go for it.  No asking, no half ass hesitated kiss.
  3. touch them in some way- Hands by your side is slightly awkward.. BUT (please see 3 b)
  4. (3.b)  This does not mean you try to feel them up or put your hands all over them.  Keep it G rated or you lose all the impact!  And yes, Mae, I know you are going to TOTALLY disagree with this one!
  5. Let it end.  I know it’s awesome but don’t linger too long.  Just leave it at one kiss, because then you have something to look forward to – the first makeout.  And this has totally different rules 🙂

Anyways, maybe I’m old school, maybe I am one of the rare people that likes the idea of courting… but the power of the kiss seems to be lost and replaced with facebook flirting, suggestive texting,  plenty of fish, and the 3 date rule.  And it’s an art that is becoming obsolete – there is something to a build-up and the process that makes it magical and euphoric, and maybe we really understood that more when we were 14 and finally got kissed by that guy… and the kiss was the final goal rather than a step to something else….

And as I look outside right now, I think I may have to take advantage of this rain 🙂

Miranda Cosgrove- Kissing You

Sparks Fly, It’s like Electricity
I might Die

When I forget how to breathe

You get closer and there’s nowhere in this world I’d rather be

Time stops

Like everything around me

Is frozen

And nothing matters but these

Few moments when you open my mind to things I’ve never seen

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