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Posts Tagged ‘buddhism’

 

You know how in your business or in whatever  passion you have that there is one person who stands out to you?  Someone you admire and who you call a mentor, an inspiration.  A person that you see excellence in and that in watching them perform, you catch a glimpse of your own possibility.  Well, for me that was Tiger Woods. 

He is a Competitor. He is a Champion.  He is a Cheater?

 I believe in the phrase “that which you do one thing, you do everything”.  As in if I lie about how tall I am in an online dating profile, I probably lie about something more significant in my life also.

And I think that’s why everyone was so shocked about Tiger.  Because he excelled in golf, we had him on a pedestal and we believed that his value system and ethics were at a celestial level.  For me, he was pretty close to perfect.

So the truth has come out and it’s pretty ugly.  And people have tried to figure it out – does he feel invincible, entitled… is he pathological, does he have an addiction?  Tiger has ceased to be human and has instead become a problem to solve, and a puzzle to figure out. And most of all – Tiger has become dirt.  In the media he is a joke and it has become a public pasttime to ridicule and judge him.

And that’s what this blog is about.  It’s not about whether what he did was right or wrong.  I think that’s clear based on the vows he took.  It’s not about what his publicist should or shouldn’t have had him do, it’s not about whether Elin should take him back or what his dad would say.  It’s about us.

I think that the true nature of people comes out during hardship.  It’s why it is important to date somebody for long enough to go through something emotional and difficult with them- you truly find out who a person is when things go sour and when there is struggle.  Do they get depressed, angry, judgmental, withdrawn?  Or do they find a way to make it better, to grow and to persevere.  Are they on your team when you are forced to fold, or only when you are dealt a royal flush? Can they see your character through your circumstances? And more importantly, can they help you revive your spirit when the chips fall?

Taking this back to Tiger, I was watching an interview with him while I was working out a couple of days ago.  There was no sound, and I think that because of that I was so much more attuned to his message.  It was loud and clear. 

I am broken.

The ever so present and untangible power that Tiger was known for is gone.  He spirit silenced.  And I’m not saying that he doesn’t have to go through some things to figure out how to move forward.  There’s no doubt that remorse and retribution may be a part of it, but how does OUR accusation, judgment and punishment lead to the healing of both Tiger and his family?  And what did we do in our lives to deem ourselves so perfect and righteous?

I’ve rarely seen a human being step up to their potential in the face of negativity and I doubt this is any different.  It’s not to say that we need to support an action that is hurtful, such as the many times Tiger cheated on his wife, but it’s definitely not our place to step in.  Someone recently argued that since Tiger used the media to his advantage for years, this is all justified that he would get the flip side if he F-ed up.  And I see their point if we subsribe to the notion of “and eye for an eye”, but I think it’s way more powerful to subscribe to the notion of humanity.

And it’s hard, especially when we are angry, and feel super justified about it.  I mean, say it was my husband… how would I feel then? The wisest people in the world manage to do one thing, no matter what their circumstances.  They always remain true to who they are regardless of what happens to them or how they feel.  Who they are is constant, and within their control.  How they feel, and what people do to them is out of their hands.

So the question is, who are we?  Right now, this situation has shown me that we are judgment, gossip, righteousness and condemnation.  You can’t look at the situation in a way that says “because you did this, I have a right to do that”.  Our reaction and the way we treat another human being is our choice and our responsibility… 

And what would we do if who we are is love, inspiration and community.  Would our actions change?  Would we be so justified in treating Tiger in the way we have been treating him if we were more committed to who we truly are than we are to how right we are?

Just saying…  And I know that a part of me feels for Tiger because I too have made mistakes.  I’ve hurt people I love, I’ve lied, I’ve cheated…. and we all have at some point.  Did he lie and cheat?  Yes.  Did he get caught.  Double yes.  Did he learn his lesson?  If you care about the answer to this, my point has been missed…  It’s not up to us to decide what he needs to learn and how he needs to learn it.  But it is up to us to be there, cheering him on when he finds his way once again…

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