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Posts Tagged ‘canada’

From bad to worse..

8-1

That was the score of the Canucks loss last night.  The players looked visibly shocked, the coaches had no idea what to do and a city bustling with Olympic-like pride and gusto was immediately humbled.

Predictions were generous before the game – Canucks were getting better every game, every series.  Luongo seemed poised and confident, and our record was improving – 7 games in the first round, 6 games in the second, 5 in the 4th… and what was left?  A Four Game sweep of course!

So, if not a sweep, now what?

As an athlete and now a coach, I’ve often gotten caught up in the energy of “perfection”.  It’s what makes athletes, coaches, GM’s and franchises excellent – seeking perfect performances and doing every little thing that it takes to accomplish that.  And here’s where it gets tricky… we can train with perfection in mind but the second we try to play games perfectly is where things go wrong, because it’s very rare for a game to go exactly as we planned or envisioned…  We then miss opportunities as we search for the perfect play; we get caught up in our own mistakes, failing to move on from them; and when things don’t go well  we start to play with fear and caution.

There are a couple of ways to analyse why it happens that way- For all of those “The Secret” believers out there- Law of Attraction is the source of this. What we think about we attract.  Fear breeds the manifestation of fear.  Worrying about making mistakes breeds mistakes etc. etc. etc.  Our minds do not know the difference between what we want and what we don’t want.  It just produces what is on our mind.

And for those scientists out there, it’s pretty simple what happens.  Fear and nerves cause blood flow to pool in the stomach, thereby starving the extremities (aka arms and legs!), and so movement is not only restricted but our reflexes are much slower.  Looking back on last night’s game, does that sound familiar?

This is the “perfectionism trap”.  Perfectionism is great when things are, well, perfect.  But it quickly breaks down when things go wrong as it seems that there is no way out as we have already failed to be perfect.

So what now for the Canucks?  How do you regroup and come back from that performance?  I can’t say that I have the exact answer, but I think that the worse thing that they could do is overanalyze their performance.  They could go into strategy and technical aspects of the game and get caught up in what to change, but the truth is that the change that needs to happen is within them already.  They need to be okay with not being perfect, and have a little humour about the lesson they were given.  Trying to avenge a loss, or prove something to their fans will give them just that – a game spent trying and proving.  it’s uninspiring to watch, and even more uninspiring to play that way.

But I imagine they already know this.  They play week after week, in do or die situations.  They experience the best and worst of themselves on that ice day after day and so they are used to this and get coached through it.  They know how it goes.  But what about everyone else?

I’ve always said that the reason I was addicted to volleyball was because I could go through years of growth in 1 hour on the court. There is a start, middle and end to the game; you see what kind of teammate/partner you are; you see how you think and react when things are close- do you make the right play, do you get scared, do you blame your coach, yourself or teammate?  And then you finish the game, debrief, need to forget it and move on, while implementing new better ways to be in the future.  If this is not life, I don’t know what is!

But normally we don’t get to do the whole thing in such a short time.  Usually it gets stretched out over weeks, months, years and it feels neverending.  A bad play in hockey may see your team at a disadvantage for 5 minutes, but in life a bad decision could cost us years of discomfort, which really wears people down.  And so it gets really tough to forget the mistake and move on… to move past it with the information we learned and make different choices.  In fact, often there is so much time between the action and the result that we often lose sight of what caused what.  And then we (accidently) keep making the same mistake over and over and wonder why we ended up in the same place again.

It happens with work, money, dating, and family.  I’ve seen numerous friends find themselves in relationships with THAT guy that they tried to avoid.  Or people that keep ending up working with terrible bosses or who are perpetually broke no matter what kind of money they are making.

The question is, do we need a referee and a coach around or can we figure it out on our own?  When we make a mistake, do we know ourselves well enough to call the penalty, put ourselves in the box for 5 minutes, and then get back on the ice and play differently?  Or do we keep trying to play “through it” and force our game plan no matter what the other team is doing?  And though the Canucks got to walk away after 2 1/2 hours of playing with an 8-1 loss, what does that transfer into in real life?  Losing 8 things in real life is a much bigger deal – it may include a relationship, a house, a job, confidence, trust, time.

For me, I get stuck trying to be a perfectionist for sure.  Because it has served me in the past.  It has made me great at things and yet there is no doubt that there is a cap that it places on my life and so it’s important to look at my current situation and have a sense of whether I’m learning and changing myself or if I’m just trying to change the game.  Because 5 minutes in the penalty box may just be the perfect little time out – I mean, who knows what can happen while you’re in there… !

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Rain is a Good Thing – Luke Bryan

My daddy spent his life lookin’ up at the sky
He’d cuss, kick the dust, sayin’ son it’s way too dry
It clouds up in the city, the weather man complains
But where I come from, rain is a good thing

Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey
Whiskey makes my baby feel a little frisky
Back roads are boggin’ up, my buddies pile up in my truck. We hunt our honeys down, we take ’em into town
Start washin’ all our worries down the drain
Rain is a good thing

Okay so anyone who knows me… and I mean really really knows me, knows that deep down, way down – I’m a country girl at heart.  I can two step with the best of em, I know what “boot scootin boogie” is, and i’ve had more than one long summer night listening to “fishin’ in the dark”.  I learned to shoot a gun in elementary school, know what 4-H is and I just can’t help but fall for a guy in a cowboy hat 😉

So when I heard Luke Bryan’s new song (above) I loved it.  It was simple, it was country cheesy (I mean, there was no talk about losing his wife, home and dog but still…), and it is true-  I mean, a little rain leads to a hot night out!  One thing (rain) creates another (corn, whisky), which results in a night ripping up the main street drag.

One of my best friends, Mae, is such a great example of this.  She’s been trying to find a job for about a year and because of that, has held off on a bunch of things that she wanted to do.  She kept waiting for the job to come in order to figure out the rest of her life but she totally had it backwards – this proving true when she spontaneously adopted a new puppy.  Literally as soon as actually followed her heart and got the puppy she’d been yearning for, she got a job offer.  Coincidence, maybe, but I doubt it.  There is something about doing what you feel is right, regardless of your circumstances, that I believe is the key to getting the circumstances you want.

Which is why I’m a bit at a loss right now.  I am waiting for my circumstances to come together to move forward.  It feels like the right thing to do… feels like the safe thing – almost like I’m waiting for a sign.  But I think what is instinctual is not necessarily the way it works, because I think that instinct is sometimes created by fear.  Maybe I need to move forward and choose something regardless of my circumstances,   and then the circumstances would present themselves.  Mae wanted a settled, financially secured life where she could have a home and a dog.  So she skipped the financially secure part and headed straight for the result… and life filled in the blanks.  Luke Bryan wanted a night out, so he appreciated the rain.  Seems unrelated but is it?

It really comes back to two stepping.  Do you choose that guy that doesn’t really know the dance steps? The one who you know is just trying not to F up the steps and lays his hand stiffly above the small of your back.  He tries to turn you but is so indirect that he just kind of pushes you and you hesitantly spin, missing the beat, almost stepping on his toes and ended up nose to nose and unsure how to get back into step?  Come on, you’ve ALL been there!!!  OR, do you just go with the guy who knows how to lead?  He may not be the man of your dreams, but the certainty of his steps allow you to get lost in the moment and just live  the dance.  You turn, you move together, you may spin once or one too many times, but at the end of it, you know you left it all on the dancefloor!  And you can then choose to dance with him again or not, but at least you know exactly what you are choosing cause you danced full out 🙂  With the other guy, it would probably take 5 dances to finally get some rhythm.  Not that either choice is bad, but my gut right now is that guy #2 is the best option for me.

Which in real life means that I need to just choose boldly my next step and see how life lines up to allow it to happen.  Because being unsure and “open” causes confusion and I never really know what I am choosing between.  So time to let it rain, and grow corn, and make the whisky.  Cause I like my men a little frisky 😉  [insert line about losing my house, my wife and my dog here]

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So the Olympics have come and gone.  For many people it’s a massive crash after 7 years of planning, organizing and creating.  It’s the calm after the storm, and even though everyone is exhausted, there is this energy and life in Vancouver that I’ve never seen before.  It’s patriotic, it’s proud, and it’s powerful.  It has reminded me of who I am, and who WE are.  A nation of excellence, of freedom, of anything is possible.

And so where to go from here?  In my opinion, we are only a success if we can bring the spirit of the games into our normal lives.  Not that we hold onto the past three weeks, clinging to a reason to feel the way we do, but that we see that the real reason that we were so inspired was that we came together as one to support our athletes.  Win or Lose, Rise or Fall, we had their back.  We were all one team, whether we were stuck in line waiting for a bus, cheering on our most talented Canadian Olympic team in history, grieving for Georgian luger Nodar Kumaritashvili, or sitting at Canada Hockey Place watching Crosby score the game winner, we were one.  And maybe that’s the point.  Maybe we finally got it.  When we are there for each other (as Canada was for our Olympic team the past 4 years), amazing things happen for everyone.  THAT is what the Olympics are about.

And so I’ve learned a few lessons that will definitely make a difference for me as I pursue my own Olympic dream.  First of all, I need others.  I need to invite people to go on this journey with me – to cheer me on, laugh with me, cry with me, heal me and guide me.  And in return, I will give everything I have to this dream and I hope in some small way it will make the world better and will create opportunities for all of the people that I am lucky enough to have in my life.

Secondly, I learned that excellence is a state of mind, and not a result.  I think we could all tell when an athlete was going to perform well.  They had this energy about them – an unshakable confidence, laser focus, and yet a lightness in their eyes.  They could smile, even when the pressure was on.  And that’s what I am taking from these unbelievable Canadian athletes.  They had humility but it was different than before.  Where we were once afraid to be great and somewhat uncomfortable on the top of the podium,  we now BELIEVED  that we were meant to Own the Podium.  And yet we were still “Canadian humble” but our humility was in who we were afterwards- Gracious winners. 

So now, bring on the Summer Olympics.  Bring on the sun and sand and bikinis.  Bring on the GOLD.  Ready for the ride of a lifetime?

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