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Posts Tagged ‘cookies’

So it all started with Oprah, which most things these days seem to start with…

My mom was watching the show last year on a rare day off from work and comedian Steve Harvey was the guest.  He was promoting his new book about  relationships and specifically about how women are going wrong- seriously wrong.

So, as you may have already guessed my mom started listening a little more intently and with her kids in mind as Harvey answered  questions about love, sex and dating.  I mean, sure this was supposed to be a day off Olympic planning for her, but maybe she could use this time to help US move from the singles event to pairs 😉

Now, I wasn’t watching the show, but my mom felt so inspired to share his thoughts that she declared at dinner that we need to hold on to our cookie  (what?) and followed up with passing along his book for us to read (my mom bought and read a book about dating?).  Oh, this will be interesting…!

So I read it, and I’m going to paraphrase the sh*t out of it but here is the main concept of this book (taken from Oprah’s website):

Though a woman might want many things from a man, Steve says men only need three things: support, loyalty and sex. Or as Steve calls it, “the cookie.” “We’ve got to have your support. Whatever adventure we’re out on, whatever pursuit in life, we need your support. Then we need your loyalty. That’s your love. We’ve got to know that you belong to us,” he says. “And we’ve got to have a cookie. Everybody likes cookies. That’s the thing about a cookie. I like oatmeal raisin…but if you’ve got vanilla cream, I’ll eat that too.”

So he goes on to describe how women give their cookie away too early – all of it!  It’s  the 2010 version of “The Rules”… take your time, have a life, make sure your guy knows he’s what you want, and hold on to your cookie for at least 90 days.  Yes guys, I’m being serious.   Three. Whole. Months.

So The Cookie started to get a whole bunch of floor time at our family dinners.  It was explained, debated, accepted, rejected.  My friends thought it was impossible, my brother declared he was a cookie-monster 😉 , my sister said that this was archaic dating behaviour and we’ve moved so far past this as women, and I decided to try it out. The Cookie was now an intricate part of our daily life and yet I wasn’t ready for what came next…

A couple weeks later we all went out for some drinks at a bar downtown, and as a new guy offered to buy me drinks and attempted laughing at even my cheesy jokes, my sister (sitting beside him on the other side) started a conversation that I only jumped into at the end.

her: “you know, you won’t even get her cookie for 3 months – she’s all talk…”

him: “what’s a cookie?”

her: “her COOKIE… she seems all fun and carefree but she’s like a…a…. she’s a double chocolate chip cookie”.

him:  “those are awesome!”

her: “no, they are the cookie that looks like everything you want and are SO bad for you.  And you buy it, and it’s way too sweet and you can only take a bite before it gets to be too much”.

And there she had declared what kind of cookie I was – Double Chocolate Chip

In her mind, the cookie that never truly satisfies…. but that’s just her opinion, which is what the beauty of the cookie is – everyone has different tastes!

So fast-forward a week and we have all declared what kind of cookie each of us is, and why.  And if you are reading this you are, no doubt, going to find a cookie that perfectly describes how you are in a relationship.  And it’s yours to keep or to give away, to hold on to, or to rebake to become a new kind of cookie if you so choose.

The Double Chocolate Chip:  It’s a lot, a whole lot.  Fun, a little sinful, and you never know exactly what it will be like.

Chocolate Chip Cookie: (mae) Great balance, but has a wild side.  Classic, yet all satisfying – not a daily treat but could be a weekly indulgence!

Oatmeal Raisin:  (jenna) this is the betty crocker of all cookies.  Wholesome, hearty, the kind of cookie that will send you on your way with a packed lunch.  It’s a classic but you aren’t sure if it’s a treat or not…

Mulitcolour Smartie Cookie: (stacy) Hmmmm… who picks a smartie cookie?  Someone who is in for a crazy ride!  Someone who never knows what they are going to get but wants the adventure and all the randomness that goes with it.  But it’s an awesome cookie and almost impossible to find 🙂

The Ginger Snap:  (sally) This is a cookie that you love or you hate.  It has a cult following – I mean, if you love ginger snaps, probably no other cookie satisfies.  In fact, you may not even like cookies but there’s something about a ginger snap that transcends the cookie label!

Oreo:  My personal favorite.  A little of everything.  And full of layers… it can be eaten all together in one bite, or slowly savoured, or separated into it’s different layers.  Chocolate or vanilla satisfies every mood. And dunk it in milk and it’s a whole different cookie.  This one keeps me interested…

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip:  (Lola) This is the one that I aim to become.  That I hope I’ve already become.  Classic awesome chocolate chip with a little wholesomeness.  Or another way to describe it is a double chocolate chip toned down… the 30 year old version to a 20 year old cookie 🙂

The breakfast Cookie: (hanna)  So this one is not a treat, even though you love it.  It’s the healthiest cookie there is. You could have it everyday, and you do.  But it takes awhile for you to acknowledge that you are actually eating a cookie.

The Power Cookie: (Farrah) This cookie isn’t kidding around.  It puts you in your place… it’s always in the zone.  While you may mistake it for a breakfast cookie, the power cookie is a challenge.  The extra protein, nuts and chocolate make you wonder if you can handle one in a sitting. This gives you something to chew on between bites and for some crazy reason, you keep coming back for more…

The Vegetable Cookie:  (harminder) Is there such a thing, you may ask?  Well, I declared that it exists and while I’ve since backpeddled to try to dub it as carrot cake or zucchini loaf, the truth is that as I hurled my accusation at my friend Harminder (that he is a vegetable cookie), I will never redeem myself for it 😉  And in a lot of ways he is a vegetable cookie.  He is massively good for you.  So good for you that every single friend of mine wants a vegetable cookie.  And since there are no others that I know of yet, he’s got a lot of work to represent this kind of cookie. But you marry this one.  Because, I mean, it takes guts to be a cookie that doesn’t include sugar!

So since this has all happened (over a year ago)  I’m pretty over being double chocolate chip.  I agree with my sister that it’s just a special occasion cookie and I’m more interested in being at least a weekly treat! So I think I’ve progressed, or am trying to progress to a chocolate chip oatmeal cookie.  Wholesome (just a little), with the chocolate that I’m known for and that adds a little adventure.

And as for the 90 day rule – I kind of get it.  There’s no question that  getting to know a person helps us make better decisions, and as soon as you throw in too much intimacy too soon (any kind of intimacy), it can cloud things.  But to declare a time frame seems artificial.  It seems contrived.  I think the 90 day rule is more about self awareness and growth as a potential couple than anything.  It’s so that we have time to see the ingredients behind the label of the cookie.  Cause what looks like a chocolate chip cookie could be carob, and we all know that the savoriness of vegetable cookies could be masked with a little apple or orange flavour.  But it takes time to figure it out.

So what kind of cookie are you right now?  And the question is, does it serve you?  Like, are you attracting the kind of cookie you want with the kind of cookie you are being?  Bring on the oreo 😉

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